Saturday, February 9, 2008

National Valiquette League

Feeling that a change was needed to improve the league, Gary Bettman stepped down as NHL commissioner today. Before stepping down, he named his successor, Rangers' backup goalie Steve Valiquette.

"Well, we were impressed with the Islanders when they promoted (backup goalie) Garth Snow to General Manager," said the departing commissioner, "that we needed to advance the goalie to executive promotions. We decided that Steve is the right guy for the job."

Steve Valiquette has had a busy day on the job. His first step towards change has been drastic; the league has been renamed the National Valiquette League. Getting a star's name in the league name should result in an instant improvement in league image. Gone are the Eastern and Western Conferences; in are the Long Island and Manhattan Conferences, in honor of his career for both New York NHL teams. The six new divisions include Providence, Lowell, Springfield, Bridgeport, Toronto and Hartford, signifying the AHL teams he has played for in his outstanding minor league career.

He is the new Owner-GM-Coach-Player of the New York Valiquettes, who play their home games in Valiquette Square Garden. Henrik Lundqvist has been traded to Frolunda of the Swedish Elite League for the rights to Peter Forsberg. The Valiquettes are no longer restricted by the NHL's salary cap.

Asked if he has any other major changes in the works, Valiquette laughed. "Rome wasn't built in a day, you know. We'll see what happens in the offseason after we award Lord Steve's Cup."

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